“The Lovely Blogger” Nomination. So Touched

Thank you E of “Marriage, Relationships” for nominating me for “The Lovely Blog Award”. Such a nice award name in itself. 🙂

POST 67: LOVELY BLOG AWARD

This comes as a sweet surprise as I never thought my blog would be noticed much less nominated for anything. This is such an honour and I am extremely appreciative of this kind gesture. Thank you “E” and to my fellow bloggers and readers simply for your company.

SOME RULES:

  • Thank the person that nominated you and leave a link to their blog
  • Post about the award
  • Share seven facts about yourself
  • Nominate at most 15 people
  • Tell your nominees they’ve been nominated for one lovely award

7 Facts About Myself:

  1. I LOVE LOVE! Hopelessly a romantic in every sense of the word. Still a little girl I guess.
  2. I try my best to find the truth in everything I say.
  3. I care way too much about hurting people’s feelings or being misunderstood
  4. My religion is my soul and my church is my mind. I try not to hurt anyone and help pay it forward through the little things in life.
  5. Some of my guilty pleasures are “Ellen” and Strawberry Haagen Dazs ice cream, but my real ones are just being in the moment with my husband, kids and friends – and just smiling and feeling truly blessed.
  6. I am not 100% sure of anything anymore, but still trying to be true to myself as much as possible.
  7. I am still insecure about the affair, still looking over my shoulder and still have setbacks after 1 year and 4 months….but getting stronger each day.

 

There are so many bloggers that should be awarded for their captivating and helpful writing. I have included the ones that helped me through the early days. However there are so many more to include on the below list. Thank you all for sharing your stories and holding our hands through this

My nominees:

https://healingaftermyhusbandsaffair.wordpress.com/

https://savingshards.com/

POST 67: LOVELY BLOG AWARD

https://lifepostaffair.wordpress.com/

https://healingafterhisaffair.wordpress.com/

https://workingtowardshealingafterhisaffair.wordpress.com/

https://luvcanbuildabridge.wordpress.com/

https://temptedblog.wordpress.com/

https://behindmychoice.wordpress.com/

https://betrayedin2012.wordpress.com/

https://heplayedme.wordpress.com/

https://ofachesandtears.wordpress.com/

https://fallingashblog.wordpress.com/

https://oncewhole.wordpress.com/

https://theaffairdiary.wordpress.com/

“Beloved, come back to yourself.” by Kathy Parker

Wanted to remind us BSs…to come back to ourselves…so sharing this beautiful piece with you. Hope you appreciate it as much I do. WE ALL MATTER!
This morning you woke again and carried the weight of your sadness into your day, and you wonder how you got here, to this place where you are so broken, so lost.
You no longer even know who this woman is, the one with the drawn face and colourless eyes. She is a stranger; a shell of emptiness and grief.
There is nothing left of you, only the parched skin that covers your withered bones. Somewhere within you a heart must still beat, but it is faint, thready, and you wonder how it even draws life when you have given so much of it away.
You never meant to lose so much of yourself. You thought maybe if you broke off pieces of your heart and placed them in the hands of others, they would see the gift you had given them. Maybe they would know how much it cost you to tear apart your flesh, and they would cherish this piece of you that rested in their hands. Maybe they would see you, know you.
Maybe they would love you.
Piece by piece, you ripped yourself apart. Piece by piece, you gave yourself away. Sometimes for a moment, sometimes for a night. Sometimes for a promise that fell from a hasty tongue onto the barren ground at your weary feet.
But never for the love you so craved.
But it didn’t matter. You were desperate to be seen, to be loved, so you continued to give your heart away, until now your breath is weak and your chest is empty and you can no longer feel the life force that once pulsed through your veins or the hope that once thrived in your soul.
You allowed the pieces of your heart to fall through the fingers of those who didn’t know how much it was worth.
Because no-one ever told you how much you were worth.
But hearts as valuable as yours were never made for careless hands.
Beloved, come back to yourself.
Roam the earth, far and wide, and gather back the pieces you have lost. Bring them close, dust them off, and place them back inside your chest. Feel as you begin to mend. Watch the way your heart draws back together. Listen to its strength as it beats faster, the way it finds the song that has called your name since the moment you were born into existence.
Beloved, come back to yourself.
For your heart contains the mystery of the universe within its every breath. You are the ferocity of wild storms on a summer night, the whispered hush of the sun as it kisses the horizon. You are the thunder that rattles the windows of cities, the gentle harmonies that wash people clean with their tears. You are the fury of untamed oceans that lash against beaten shores, the softness of rain that lands silently upon fallen leaves. You are madness and chaos, passion and fire, stillness and calm; a beautiful contradiction that leaves the world breathless in your wake.
Beloved, come back to yourself.
No longer give your heart away to those who do not see the beauty that lies within their hands.
Love your own heart with every measure of the love it deserves, so you will never again settle for a love less than everything you have ever been worth.

 

http://www.truth-code.com/2017/04/beloved-come-back-to-yourself.html?utm_source=Join+the+Truth+Code+mailing+list+for+our+most+popular+content&utm_campaign=235df3a03d-TRUTH+CODE+RSS&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_a1f99bfeb7-235df3a03d-132010441&mc_cid=235df3a03d&mc_eid=29869c1c25

 

 

It’s a Small World After All…

You know the saying…no news is good news…well we “Betrayeds” usually end up writing when we are down and out and need to vent.

To be honest…with the exception of a few internal setbacks, triggers, and biting memories…I and WE have been absolutely amazing. After all, it has only been a little over a year. So as far as I am concerned, this is major progress and we are truly blessed.

We had recently organised a little family getaway over an orchestrated long weekend and were extremely excited to be able to decompress and spend some quality time together – as our weekends go by too quickly for us. After driving over six hours, finally checking into our hotel, quickly changing into our swimsuits and rushing down to the pool to have a quick swim and a vacation cocktail before dark…my husband goes white like a ghost and whispers to me – “WE HAVE A BIG PROBLEM”…

I GASPED…there goes my heart constricting again and I unfortunately immediately thought the worst….”SHE WAS HERE!!!?!!??” and then realised how melodramatic I was being and profusely apologised for jumping to that conclusion. He took a deep breath and said “It is exactly that”. My heart sank…I gasped again.

WTF do we do now? We had no where else to go. All of the hotels in the area were fully booked out. Do we drive back home after being in the car for so long? I panicked. We panicked. WTF?!

My husband immediately wrapped his arms around me…held me closely, asked me to look at him and then softly and sincerely told me how much he loved me…how very sorry he is for everything again (BTW: I hear this a lot from him), how seeing her disgusts him as it reminds him of all of the horrible things he let himself do…how much hurt and pain he has brought to the girls and I…and how he almost lost me and us. He reminded me how far we have come…how amazing we are…how we must try and not let seeing her set us back too much, as we both knew that was going to inevitably happen. How we needed to remain strong together and try to enjoy ourselves as much as possible, as we too deserve this holiday together. (HEAVY SIGH!) A very BIG ASK!

We sat huddled closely together on the lounge chair, with the beach bag still over my shoulder – looking like we had just seen ghosts. Meanwhile our poor kids were inside the pool begging us to come in, but we were glued to the lounge chair with our backs to HER while her husband was swimming right beside them. We couldn’t do anything. We were frozen. It simply broke our hearts that we were letting our kids down….once again.

I did however take advantage of this moment and H’s vulnerability and asked him more questions about the affair, things that I needed to feel he was telling the truth about. He seemed so sincere and honest with his answers which made me feel better, albeit that the truthful words still stung.

We luckily avoided any direct run-ins with her, her husband and baby that evening. However, I was definitely paranoid and was constantly looking around like a rhesus monkey, expecting the worse. Unfortunately I often do this when I go to the supermarket in my home town…always scanning public areas to see if she and her husband are around. Now…here we are…thousands of miles away…and there SHE F@cKing is! COME ON!

I barely slept that night as you can imagine. Major flashbacks were zooming through my mind. My children think I am always sad looking when I am supposed to be happy. We are on vacation for goodness sake. It is so hard for me as I wish they could understand that I am NOT a miserable Beatch…and want to be happy.

The next morning at breakfast was rough for me too, as expected. Thankfully, still no sign of them so far. After, we situated ourselves at the pool on the opposite end of where we saw them sitting the day before. I made sure to position myself with the best visibility to be armed and ready. I was anxiously awaiting to see them and for noon to quickly kick in, so having a cocktail would be deemed acceptable. Grin.

There she was…with her big ass ski slope forehead, pathetic “Olive Oyl” bun wobbling on top of her head and with her man arms pushing her Quinny stroller (but of course) along the pool side. (I know, harsh of me…but I cannot help myself. Still have a lot of hatred and at the same time feel very sorry for her. So please forgive me for my shallowness.) …They didn’t see us.

Finally noon reached…Pina Colada #1 had kicked in good and proper. We were playing cards by the pool with our kids…and the vibes were nice despite that I was on major high alert, as expected. SHE was right at the other end of the pool. HER! WTF! ….And just like that… there she was….slithering into the pool like a smug snake with her perfect ass…(YES. It is still unfortunately absolutely perfect. The Beeatch.) She slowly looked around happy as a lark…and BAM! She saw me! She immediately froze. Then she quickly looked at our kids…then at my Husband and then back at me…to make sure it was in fact me that she was looking at. She is the one that now looks like she saw a ghost! Meanwhile, I was having a little internal conversation with myself during this very moment that went something like this…”yes..it’s me…you Bitch…happy to see me?”…and then I gave her a BIG ASS smile…head tilted and all..and her facial expression changed from shock to a sly CXNT. And with that she slowly turned around and slithered off to the other side of the pool. She then hid behind a large pool statue and eventually crawled out.

What a weird feeling this all was to me. There she was…and I survived. After a few hours with her being nearby the pool…riddled with one more dip in the pool with her husband, but behind the statue…as it was very hot.. They finally packed up and walked the long way around on the grass, with their stroller, to fully avoid us. I wonder if she told her husband that we were there? Knowing her…maybe not.

I felt better after they had left the pool area, as for some reason I felt they were gone for good. So life was good again. After some more fun games, swimming with the kids and yummy Pina Coladas…we fully enjoyed the next two days completely stress free and more in love.

Maybe this “oh so small world” was a good thing after all. 🙂

#EatShitandDieMs.B